I used to keep my struggle with infertility very private. No one knew except for my family and a few close friends. Then one Sunday, when I was teaching a Relief Society lesson, all of that changed.
I can't even remember what the lesson was on - prayer, maybe. As I was preparing the lesson I had the distinct impression that I should share some of my infertility experiences. Well of course I did the only sensible thing and dismissed that idea immediately. I went on to finish my preparations with the same thought occasionally appearing in the corner of my brain, but I would immediately scold it and tuck it back in with the other information I preferred to keep private.
Then Sunday came, and I was teaching my lesson. I was going along quite comfortably until I came to the portion of the lesson where I had had that little inkling, and something stopped me in mid-sentence. I just knew I had to share my experiences, no matter how revealing or uncomfortable it was for me. So I did, prefacing it with the statement that I didn't know who needed to hear it, but somebody in the room did, and that's why I was going to share.
After the closing prayer, when most of the room had emptied, a new woman in the ward came up to me with tears coursing down her cheeks. She said she had been the reason I was supposed to share my story. She had been struggling with infertility, and needed someone to relate to.
It was a powerful indicator to me that I could do a lot of good by sharing my experience. Sometimes infertility is so isolating you feel like you are the only one in the world who is going through it. And I'm sure this woman felt very alone in her trials. But by allowing me to be a comfort to her, the Lord showed me how much He cared about both of us that day.
I was reminded of this experience, because yesterday I received an email from an acquaintance who had also been present during that Relief Society lesson. Her son and daughter-in-law have been trying to have a baby for a year with no success, and she wanted to help them, but had no experience with infertility. She wrote to ask if I could give them some advice on what they needed to do to move forward, what type of testing they should have done, and what they could expect. I was more than happy to respond, and did so immediately.
The funny thing is, when I shared my experiences while teaching Relief Society, I had an immediate confirmation of who the "one" person was who needed to hear it. It never occurred to me that someone else would be helped by it, nearly two years later.
I'm so glad I shared my story.
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I remember that lesson, and when you shared your experience it was a very moving moment. How neat that by sharing your story two years ago, you were still helping people today! I'm pretty open about IVF, etc, for that reason. You don't know who might be struggling with it, too, and they might need some advice or just a confirmation that they're not alone. Unfortunately, IF is more prevalent than everyone (who doesn't really know about it) thinks, but happily, that makes for a better support system when people actually know that others are going through it. Case in point, our little IF group :)
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