Have Eggs, Will Share

A little while ago, I got a survey in the mail from Shady Grove. It was being sent out to participants in the Shared Egg Donor Program that they started about 2005-ish. In short, an egg donor takes all the meds, the eggs are retrieved, and then two or more recipients split the bounty. Which is exactly what another lady and I did in April 2006. I was the donor and one of the recipients, and doing it that way cost us only $6500 including medication, vs. $15,000 not including medication. Yep, our lovely insurance didn't cover us, so this was a huge blessing. (grrr...mumble...growl...darn insurance...)

Anyway, the survey was just a follow-up: seeing how I was doing emotionally, if I would ever be open to my little grown-up eggs contacting me...but it totally brought to mind that I probably have another little child or more out there somewhere. This is something I think about occasionally. This child. Not MY child, but someone who might have my smile, or who might hate okra (is that genetic?), or who will be blessed with wonderfully horrible eyesight. And I'm not pining for this child. I don't feel like he or she or they belong to me, but it's just a weird feeling. And I hope that their mom and dad are good to them and love them and sit down beside them to read books or be a horsey for the 254th time that day. And then I remember that the woman I gave half my eggs to was someone like me. Someone who was aching for a little one of her own, someone who had been poked and prodded and despaired, but kept trying and hoping and praying. I hope she was praying. I hope they are a family who knows the Lord, I hope the little children biologically linked to me grow up with a love for the Savior.

Yeah, sometimes that makes me pause, realizing I probably sent them to a non-LDS home, and I'm a little bit sad. But (and this doesn't even need to be said) there are wonderful people and families who are not LDS, and I can only try harder to be a better missionary so that everyone, including those little children who are not mine but are part of me, will have a chance to know the joys of the restored gospel.

Officially, the church discourages donation of sperm and eggs, but ultimately it's a matter between husband, wife, and the Lord. And we prayed. A lot. And fasted. And talked to our church leaders. Never once did we feel hesitant about doing this. It may not be for everyone, but it was right for us. I asked my nurse, after we found out we were carrying the twins, "I know you can't tell me details, or anything, but, can you tell me if it even worked for the other woman???" She paused. "I can't tell you anything. But...(dramatic pause)...thank you VERY MUCH." Hmmm...okay, in writing, that really means nothing, but trust me...if you heard the way she said it, you'd know that at that point things were going pretty well for my secret recipient. And that felt good. It definitely felt good to not have to go into debt up to our eyeballs, but helping another couple like us to have their own little squirming, pooping, gurgling, cooing kiddo turned out to feel even better.